{"product_id":"upgrade-available-cuffed-beanie","title":"\"Upgrade Available\" Cuffed Beanie","description":"Your brain's running on outdated hardware. Let everyone know there's a patch pending.\u003cbr\u003e\nSoft, warm, and smarter than you — this cuffed beanie features the iconic \"Upgrade Available\" brain-and-USB embroidery front and center. Because nothing says \"I'm aware of my limitations\" like wearing the diagnosis on your head.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nFeatures:\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nEmbroidered \"Upgrade Available\" brain design on the cuff\u003cbr\u003e\nSoft-knit acrylic blend\u003cbr\u003e\nCuffed fit — one size fits most skulls (even the obsolete ones)\u003cbr\u003e\nSnug enough to keep your legacy hardware warm through winter\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPerfect for:\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nDevelopers who haven't slept since the last deploy\u003cbr\u003e\nAnyone who's ever Googled something they definitely learned in school\u003cbr\u003e\nPeople whose internal monologue needs a firmware update\u003cbr\u003e\nLooking thoughtful at coffee shops while remembering absolutely nothing\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% Turbo Acrylic\u003cbr\u003e\n• 12″ (30 cm) in length\u003cbr\u003e\n• Hypoallergenic \u003cbr\u003e\n• Unisex style\u003cbr\u003e\n• Hand washable\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nBeanie provides warmth only. Actual cognitive upgrades sold separately.","brand":"Humans are dead","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":63210823287153,"sku":"7319302_12881","price":21.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0991\/1366\/4881\/files\/cuffed-beanie-dark-grey-front-6998048e5858a.jpg?v=1771570334","url":"https:\/\/humansaredead.co\/products\/upgrade-available-cuffed-beanie","provider":"Humans are dead","version":"1.0","type":"link"}